Yesterday I was thinking about next year. One year from that date. I allowed myself to think, "This time next year I will have a baby". That might not seem like a big deal, but for someone who's lost a baby- it's huge! I have not allowed myself to think that before. I strongly believe in the power of our words. I know that might sound all new age and crazy, but I really do believe that what we say and think has an effect on our psyche. I am not going to allow myself to say "if" I have a baby, I'm going to say "WHEN".
Today I went shopping, and I found myself looking a newborn clothes. I even bought two newborn outfits. I can't believe I did that. I'm not telling anyone! It was very emotional being in that baby store. I didn't think it would be that hard, but it was hard. It was also kind of freeing. I left there feeling like I had conquered something.
1 comment:
Hi Holli,
I am so sorry for the loss of your baby girl. I can only imagine how horrible this journey has been for you.
I feel the same way you do. Words are powerful. Positive thinking is powerful and good for our mind and soul. Doesn't mean that you miss your daughter any less or grieve any less over her! Just means that you are determined to give your daughter siblings. Nothing wrong with that and nothing wrong with buying baby clothes.
Thank you for stopping by my site and for the wonderful comment! I am going to check up on you to see how you are doing. I want to hear more about your journey of motherhood.
ps Blue is cool too!! ;)
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