S-E-X

So, let's talk about sex shall we. Or, as the baby making circles like to call it BD (for baby-dancing! Who thought this up?). I am now 30ish, and have been married for quite some time. We've enjoyed what I would consider a pretty active sex life. But it's always been for pure enjoyment. There is something about being infertile that is... freeing? Yes, freeing. There is something liberating about having sex for the pure enjoyment of being with your husband, and with not having to worry about contraception or pregnancy. It's a whole different game. My husband and I spent several years (OK 4!) thinking we couldn't make babies. We didn't worry about contraception or ovulation. We did it when we wanted, where we wanted and didn't think twice about it. Then we were surprised with a baby and everything changed. I was on cervical rest, so we couldn't have sex for several months, and truthfully it was something I really missed. I'm no vixen, but I do enjoy being with my husband. Now that we are on this path to making a baby, I am starting to miss us. When you are trying to get pregnant it becomes more mechanical and the "magic" is gone. You start to feel like it's a chore that has to be completed on the scheduled dates. I'm really trying to not get consumed by TTC, because I know plenty of women who do. Running to the bathroom constantly to see if your starting your period. Peeing on sticks everyday for 10 days. Analyzing every twinge and cramp. I don't want to be that girl. That is why I don't see us trying for very long. I can't let myself go to a place where I am consumed by getting pregnant. Because if it doesn't happen- and it's a real possibility that it won't- I don't know how I would recover from it. So for now, I'm going to kick up my knickers and enjoy baby dancing with my man. :)